My boyfriend always says its a bad thing when I have been reading, because I internalize my books too much, he does not say it in those words he just says "Sarah, you need to stop believing everything you read in books." I am not sure why I always think the problems that happen to the characters in my books will happen to me, but I do this fairly regularly.
Recently I have been reading children's books both picture and chapter as well as adult books of my own interest. The children's books have been to prepare myself for student teaching in a week and to familiarize myself with children's literature. It is going okay, I have been focused on authors and reading through all of their writings that I can get my hands on, but I was also doing recommended readings I did not have time to do during summer classes. I have finished those readings yesterday and thrown myself into reading at least one children's literature book everyday, it is not hard for picture books and not really for longer chapter books, but it does mean my personal reading books are left more and more by the wayside.
I am currently reading books by Kevin Henkes, specifically his chapter books because I finished all the picture books I could get my hands on. His chapter books are all set in Wisconsin where he lives and so far all have male protagonists between 10-12 years old. Also with the exception of Margaret & Taylor, most have parental "problems" (dead parents, parents who run away, who leave their spouse, etc.), and some are only children.
This morning I was struck by a conundrum that people my age might face or might not I cannot really speak for them. I am young and I have been thinking recently about getting married, (which for me is progress only thinking up to that point and not beyond) and I was struck today by a tug of war I feel. I want to get married and be with my boyfriend always, but I do not want to rush it. I do not want to get married to soon only to get divorced. I understand that people get divorced for a myriad of reasons, and my own parents are divorced. Last year in particular I started analyzing every couple I knew that was divorced and trying to solve the mysteries behind each case so as to have a better chance for myself. My boyfriend is not concerned he says we are more awesome than most people so I should not worry, but if you couldn't tell I tend to be a worrier. In this light I feel that there is almost a push-pull dynamic. When I do yoga, my teachers tend to suggest that most postures have a push-pull dynamic meaning that you are told to do two opposite things at the same time to stretch forward and yet pull back and somehow find the balance between the two. I am looking for that in the light of my relationship how to find the balance between the push-pull. Do I move forward and hope for the best or pull back and try to stretch it out make it last as long as possible in its current state to prevent failure later on? I am not sure there is an answer. I know relationships are personal and each person differs, but I wonder how you know when it is time to move forward or when to hang back is it all instinct or are there distinct objective questions that can guide me there. Ideally, I want an easy way out and objective list of questions to tell me what to do, because in my life my relationship is one of the things I care most about and do not want to "mess it up". I tend to believe I should just let go and see where things go, but for me this is a challenge and I try to worry it out and prevent all possible negative outcomes before they even happen. Silly I know but I do it with the best intentions... Hopefully I can learn how to let go and live in the here and now not worry about what is going to come. Let things progress as they will.
Recently I have been reading children's books both picture and chapter as well as adult books of my own interest. The children's books have been to prepare myself for student teaching in a week and to familiarize myself with children's literature. It is going okay, I have been focused on authors and reading through all of their writings that I can get my hands on, but I was also doing recommended readings I did not have time to do during summer classes. I have finished those readings yesterday and thrown myself into reading at least one children's literature book everyday, it is not hard for picture books and not really for longer chapter books, but it does mean my personal reading books are left more and more by the wayside.
I am currently reading books by Kevin Henkes, specifically his chapter books because I finished all the picture books I could get my hands on. His chapter books are all set in Wisconsin where he lives and so far all have male protagonists between 10-12 years old. Also with the exception of Margaret & Taylor, most have parental "problems" (dead parents, parents who run away, who leave their spouse, etc.), and some are only children.
This morning I was struck by a conundrum that people my age might face or might not I cannot really speak for them. I am young and I have been thinking recently about getting married, (which for me is progress only thinking up to that point and not beyond) and I was struck today by a tug of war I feel. I want to get married and be with my boyfriend always, but I do not want to rush it. I do not want to get married to soon only to get divorced. I understand that people get divorced for a myriad of reasons, and my own parents are divorced. Last year in particular I started analyzing every couple I knew that was divorced and trying to solve the mysteries behind each case so as to have a better chance for myself. My boyfriend is not concerned he says we are more awesome than most people so I should not worry, but if you couldn't tell I tend to be a worrier. In this light I feel that there is almost a push-pull dynamic. When I do yoga, my teachers tend to suggest that most postures have a push-pull dynamic meaning that you are told to do two opposite things at the same time to stretch forward and yet pull back and somehow find the balance between the two. I am looking for that in the light of my relationship how to find the balance between the push-pull. Do I move forward and hope for the best or pull back and try to stretch it out make it last as long as possible in its current state to prevent failure later on? I am not sure there is an answer. I know relationships are personal and each person differs, but I wonder how you know when it is time to move forward or when to hang back is it all instinct or are there distinct objective questions that can guide me there. Ideally, I want an easy way out and objective list of questions to tell me what to do, because in my life my relationship is one of the things I care most about and do not want to "mess it up". I tend to believe I should just let go and see where things go, but for me this is a challenge and I try to worry it out and prevent all possible negative outcomes before they even happen. Silly I know but I do it with the best intentions... Hopefully I can learn how to let go and live in the here and now not worry about what is going to come. Let things progress as they will.
